No is not a dirty word!
I have recently been facing total burnout with signs from my body wanting to shut down. Headaches, body aches, short fuse, fogginess! Just to name a few. My mental and physical load, well, they have been overloaded. And it is all because I have been saying yes to everything everyone is throwing at me. I realized that I am wanting to please everyone and make sure no one was offended. Are you also a pleaser who says yes to everything asked of them?
It has been such a refreshing realization how much of a pleaser I am and how the most important person to please is myself. When a realization like this happens about something that is not serving me, it means that I can do something to change it. After all, a problem is 50% solved when we have awareness about it! I have decided to ask myself the following questions when asked to do something that will take away from my energy.
1. How aligned is this to my bigger vision of what I want to accomplish?
2. How is this enriching my life?
3. Is this contributing to the wider community?
4. Is this taking time away from something else I am committed to thus not allowing me to give my best in that area?
5. How can I make time for this to give it the attention it deserves?
5 simple questions that have been helping me and I must admit saying no has been a lot easier.
It is also imperative to remember that
a. The world does not fall apart if you say no
b. There is somebody else that can say yes
c. No does not have to be followed by any excuses. It is sufficient to say NO and leave it at that!
Being busy for the sake of being busy does nobody any good. In fact, it just creates chaos with no purpose. Stopping, re-assessing and adjusting accordingly is required for optimal health – physical and mental! Setting boundaries around what people can expect from you and laying things on your own term is really empowering and has shifted my feelings of resentment and overwhelm to feelings of control and peace.
In short, learning to say no to the things that are not aligned with your bigger visions, means you are saying yes to what really matters. And this act alone, gives your children the best role modelling you could possibly imagine!